January 2012
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martin sloane
Funny how we scare ourselves as children with ghoulish visions, I thought… Funny, when what usually undoes us as adults is something that’s been alongside us the whole time, always familiar and often beloved. We lose the luxury of monsters.
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outliving beauty’s outward, with a mind. that doth renew swifter than blood decays…
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“be curious, not judgmental”
– walt whitman
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Cry Baby- Janis Joplin
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the birthday present
I remember one last present from John. It was my birthday, December 5, 2003. Snow had begun falling in New York around ten that morning and by evening seven inches had accumulated, with another six due. I remember snow avalanching off the slate roof at St. James’ Church across the street…
Before dinner John sat by the fire and read to me out loud. The book from which he read was a...
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“Let’s just say I have banged forty guys. What’s the problem? You’re just jealous that you’ve been brainwashed by puritanical assholes who believe sex is a sin. Then again, your little gerbil-sized brain has been reprogrammed by the media to believe that sex is the be-all, end-all. So now you’re stuck, right, because on one hand you love to fuck but afterwards you feel overwhelmed by guilt and you...
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There he was, he had kept saying later. He was alive and then he was dead and we were watching. We saw him at the instant it happened. We knew he was dead before his family did.
Just an ordinary day.
“And then—gone.”
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“i still believed that given the right circumstances he would come back. he who...”
– magical thinking
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after winter
must come spring
[everything is everything]
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Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen
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“Once upon a time there lived in Berlin, Germany, a man called Albinus. He was rich, respectable, happy; one day he abandoned his wife for the sake of a youthful mistress; he loved; was not loved; and his life ended in disaster…”
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